NFL Commissioner Steps In To Adjucate Dispute
Paul McRae
Oct 31, 2002
NFL
Commissioner Paul Tagliabue ruled today on the controversial 5-4 overtime
victory by IP Stack over BGP in the Optera Football League game Tuesday night.
Tagliabue addressed the issue at his weekly press conference by saying,
"As the world's most powerful football person, I feel it is necessary for
me to intervene in this matter even though it only affects a few geeks playing
in some godforsaken hell-hole in, Canada, was it?".
He continued by stating, "Clearly the OFL game ended tied after regulation
as reported to me by one of our foreign country field referees who was at
the game cleverly disguised as an attendant. As per OFL rules, each team
has an equal number possessions in overtime. BGP's possession ended at midfield
after failing to score on fourth down. IP Stack's subsequent touchdown results
in a victory for the Stack. BGP was clearly notified that the Stack team
would be given a possession by our official and declined to punt. The ruling
of our foreign official certainly was not questioned when she awarded the
go-ahead touchdown to BGP on a disputed catch late in the second half. I'm
afraid that Mr. Frank will have to accept the results, as there is no mechanism
for protesting the results of a league game. In fact, I believe we have
had these problems with Mr. Frank before. Strangely, we have never heard
protests from any of the other teams in this league, so we are assuming
that league games are being contested fairly under league rules."
Tagliabue concluded with, "Where the hell is Ottawa, anyway? Do they
really play football there? Let's get a beer and think of more ways to screw
Al Davis."
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